Anthony Hoffman

“Daddy, underwear is not good for me. Diaper is better for me. Diaper is perfect for me.”

“I don’t want to go to Long Beach. I want to go to little beach.”

Sumping = Something

Weapon? = What happened?

Today I got a call at work from Anthony, who informed me that he had made peepee in the potty. I told him that I was very proud of him, but then Mommy got on the line to inform me that Anthony had run into the bathroom by himself, closed the door, taken off his diaper, sat down and gone peepee, and then announced that he had made peepee – all by himself!

What a momentous day!

So we were chilling on the potty, waiting for some peepee to happen, when I decided to ask about emotions.

Me: What do you do when you’re happy?

Anthony: Huh?

Me: When you’re happy, you smile! What do you do when you’re sad?

Anthony: Cry.

Me: That’s right. What do you do when you hear something funny?

Anthony: Laugh!

Me: Yes. What do you do when you’re happy?

Anthony: Laugh too, and smile!

Me: Yay! What do you do when you’re angry?

Anthony – looks me dead in the eye: Say “Oh Fuck.”

Me: ……. That’s right.

OYYYYYYY

Sometimes I’ll point at something and ask Anthony, “do you know what that is?” He invariably answers “yes.” Then I’ll ask him what it’s called and without any hesitation he’ll respond with some made-up word. This is a source of great amusement for me.

So we’re in the car yesterday and I pointed at something and asked him what it was called and he said “prom.” I chuckled and pointed out this little quirk to my wife. So later on we’re driving around looking at houses and we stop the car by this small beach. There are two swans by the water and I ask Anthony if he knows what those things are. “Yeah!” I say, “Oh yeah? What are they called?” Without missing a beat he replies, “Bingles.” We had to pull over because we were laughing so hard.

Then just before dinner tonight, I was looking at the circuit breaker. I asked Anthony what it was called and he said “Srom.” I laughed again.

Anthony rides his John Deer (Peg Perego) tractor.

Anthony made peepee in the potty! It was amazing. He sat there for probably a full hour and then we heard the tinkling. He is currently wearing maroon underpants and is very happy. Yay!

Tonight in the bathtub we were playing with some letters, and I put up “C A T” and Anthony sounded it all out. He knows “cat” though so that wasn’t such a big deal. What was a big deal, though, was that I dropped the C and put up a B and he sounded it out – BAT. That’s not a word we’ve done before, so he genuinely sounded it out himself. Yay!

Last night at dinner Anthony asked for a crouton. This happens from time to time and we always say “you can have a crouton if you eat some salad.” This never works and we end up just giving him a crouton. But last night it DID work, and Anthony ate several pieces of lettuce. Mom and I were astounded. This is the first vegetable besides cucumbers and pickles that Anthony has eaten that hasn’t been baby food.

Anthony: “Daddy, what you doing?”

Daddy: “I’m working, buddy.”

Anthony: “You gotta work, get more money, buy more cookies?”

Daddy: “Yeah, pretty much.”

Anthony and Mommy planted some tomato seeds a few days ago. They sprouted over this past weekend and Anthony was THRILLED! Lots of “WOOOOOOW!” and “That’s AMAZING!” It must be awesome being 3.